A new life
by ficsmaniak
Summary: Edward qui Bella, she is lost, she need to start a new life, but where begin it? sorry i suck for synopsis
1. The distress

_**A/N This is my first twilight fic, I did it in French and now I am trying to translate it in the best way that I can. I am from the Quebec so don't be mad if my vocabulary is poor in English. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did to write it.**_

Curled on myself, I was just trying to decrease pain vainly. The distress who invades my all soul when he left me at the border of the forest. I cannot believe that he drop all his promise like to be with me until I don't want him anymore or to love me until the end, only for an accident. He just swears to never go away! Liar, he is a freak liar. How can he hurt me as much after that he promise me love and fidelity until the end? He should have let me die when he had chance; it would have been less painful.

Charlie opens my bedroom door, usually I am ready to go school at this time, but now I am always under this damn blanket. It's doing a weak that I am not moving of here, except for what I need to do for survive, like go to bathroom or eat, I do breath but it's need big effort, well that' not really important

-Daddy? I am not really feeling well; can I stay home again today?

- Bella, you will need to go back a day or another. So today you are not feel better, I understand that you are hurt, but if you don't change your minds, how can you think you will go better one day?

- No, dad that is not what you believe! I just have a migraine and nausea, so I promise you that tomorrow I will go in class! But please can I stay here to rest?

A new lie, for once I did not blush, I also notice that he looked really convince. I practice all last week on my few moments where I was able to think clearly to be able to do it today.

-Well, do you want med for you migraine?

-yes, please.

A moment later, he was back with a water glass and an aspirin, it's also have a second med that I suppose it was an anti-nausea one. I rise painfully in my bed, abandoning my foetal position; it was the only position that gave me little comfort, then I swallow the pills. I vaguely thank him before to take back my position and then be able to breathe a little least painfully.

Without even think to it, my mind goes back to his principal occupation; accuse. I named each one of the guilty person for this desertion. Edward for not transformed me to the ball, Carlisle for encouraged him to clean my blood after James bit me. Jasper for try to attack me and finally Alice for organized that party, the one I specifically did want to have!

Even accusing them, I was not able to blame them. I only go deeper in my depression; I was missing them all and the way that they loved me. _He_ was gone with them, forcing them to quit me. _He _was gone with my world, my life, my reason to breathe.

That night like all those for a week, I let my window open, even if the cold bit my cheeks. I was probably hoping that he will come back, that he crosses this window again, sitting in my rocking chair, waiting that I wake up and say that he made a mistake, that he would never have left me!

Each morning I wake up crying, looking to the empty chair, this morning did not was the exception. I keep my promise yet to Charlie, I got up and was getting ready to go to school without really wanting to. I suspected my dad to follow me for be sure that I really went to school. I saw that my doubt was founded when he goes after me for goes to work and that I saw the police car pass in front of the parking at the moment I was going down of my truck. I walked slowly to my first class, waiting patiently for the second bell. When I heard it, I made a U-turn and went back to my vehicle. When I get back behind the steering wheel, the tears began trickling down my cheeks. I turn the engine on and I go. I let my instinct guide me, I cannot see anything through my tears that form a thick fog in front of me.

Suddenly, I lose control of my truck, the road was slippery; there was a freeze last night. Without seeing anything I just let the steering go. Quickly, I was in my truck motionless. I open the door, and began to go down. I fell on the buttocks in the ditch where my truck had been stopped by a tree. I was only to a kilometre from the city, but I was not going back there for the chief Swan notes that I did not go to school and that I had an accident because I did not respect the road laws. I did not want to go back home anyway. I wanted to flee, I wanted to start my life back to zero, and I wanted to forget everything. So without think, I took the match package that I had in the gloves box and I lit the first that I put inside the cabin. Then I put several in, I open the window before closing the door, knowing that a fire needs oxygen to grow. I put few pieces of dry wood in the back of the truck and then I set fire and I took the last match and put it in the box truck. I run, I did not want to be near when the truck really burn, when the fuel tank will began to burn. So I ran without really knowing where I will go. After several drop, I finally slow down. I was off danger, but I continue to walk fast, I did not want anyone to find me. I finished by turning in a path about ten kilometres from the accident. I do not immediately recognized the way, perhaps because I was silly or maybe because I protect myself, but after having understood where my steps led me, I knew I would have nightmares but at least I'll have a place where I could live a while.

_**I hope you loved the first chapter. If you want me to continue to translate, please let me know by letting me a little review just yes or no. It's taking me a lot of time to translate so I hope to have a few comments.**___


	2. Nightmares!

_**So there is the continuation of ''A new life'' I hope you will love it! Tell me if I translate it for nothing or if you love it.**_

Why? Why was I always looking to hurt myself? I was not a trouble magnet; I was only looking to hurt me! I can't believe that my steps bring me to this place. Even if I came here a hundred times here before, today was not the same thing. I get closer slowly, what an idiot I was making, to believe they would leave, taking nothing and letting the door unlock, but hope it is already that. I climbed the few steps of the porch, and then I knock, more like a habits than for warning of my presence, cause nobody was suppose to be there. At that moment I understood what I was about to do; become a criminal, I was about to enter by offense in a house in the neighbourhood. Well too bad, it was better to be a criminal that dying of hypothermia.

I turn the handle, I cannot believe it, what a luck I had! They have let it unlock, probably they did tough that anyone will come here. I opened the door and it was like a stab in the stomach that i received. All was to his place, they did not bring anything, and they didn't even pack it! I felt my heart broke again. I felt a pressing need to sit down, but I was unable to take a step, it seemed they will all be back in a moment, they would cross the threshold and yell at me ''Surprise!'' as they never left. I finally step in, lock the door behind me, just for be sure to know if anyone arrive. I went to the lounge and after a brief look I went to the kitchen. Although it was not used often, there were always cans of non-perishable food for the few times I had to eat here. I took a moment to check what was left, I would have to at least two weeks caning, I'm not sure I will really enjoy eating it for two weeks, but good to the point where I am. Then a word on the kitchen island attracted my attention

_«Bella,_

_I saw you come here before I go, so I prepared yourself a special bag in my room, use this house like it was yours. You can take all money you need in my room. And I also bought you clothes. I let you keys of one of our cars and the house one, just be sure to always lock before to leave. Good luck in your new life_

_Alice, you already miss me a lot xxx»_

I go to Alice's room for see what she means by ''special bag''. I was not disappointed, she lets me all what a human will need daily; soap, shampoo teeth brush, etc. She was genial as sister and I would have to thanks her if I ever see her again!

If I ever see her again? I was becoming crazing to get this kind of hope. Well, she said that she bought me some new clothes, so I went to search them. Nothing really hard, his wardrobe was filled, but there were also some accessories, maybe I could throw a glance history to see what could help me in my new life. Indeed, I found several wigs including a red one that covered all of my hair. I undertook thereafter to find the money available to me, therefore I looked in the dresser drawers but found nothing there, when I saw two credit cards on the bedside table, I carefully considered when I realized she had left them there for me. Nothing could be easier when a card is issued on behalf of Isa Swullen and the other Lullaby Cuhale

I decided to go to rest in the lounge; I had enough feelings for today. I opened the television and I zapped, at some point I had to stop because I thought it was the outside of the house up the road. It took a good minute before I relax, there should be cameras placed in the trees. That could always help me for my trips when I should leave. And I have to go to another city, go to the grocery store in Forks prove that I am not dead, not even gone ... Then I surrendered to change the channel taking care to note the channel of the cameras. I watched a show on snowmelt when a special flash program interrupted it.

«_We are sorry to interrupt your programs, but we have a message from the highly importance to deliver to the Olympic peninsula population._

_The police chief Mr. Swan's daughter is called missing for already twelve hours. __In fact, she would not have gone to school and would never have returned home. The vehicle of the young Isabella Swan, 18 years old was found burning in city limits. The fire apparently was criminal, yet there was no body found. The police chief hopes to always find his daughter safe. Here is an excerpt of his testimony and a picture of his daughter.  
-Bella, please, if you see this message come back home, find a way to escape your kidnapper and return me! To those who have kidnapped my daughter, please take her back to me! She is everything to me; you cannot take her like that. If you want money or anything contact me please I need her, she is only 18 years! »_

I closed the TV at that moment; I didn't want to know more on the sadness that I was provoking to daddy. It was enough hard to not see him again, but know that I was all for him now was not a good thing for me, I should not go back. It was in that way that I got in a nightmare this night again.

All Cullen's family was around me, but it have another perfect woman with them, she was blond, she has golden eyes like them and she was on Edward's side, she was hanging the hand of _my_ Edward. They were all here for protect me of any danger, but I didn't mind, Edward has found his half and it wasn't me, I was devastated. When I finally saw the famous danger, they were already ready to protect me. I shout them to leave, if they at least like me or if they respect me a little bit, they back up rear to me with a lot of regrets. I declare to that vampire who was mad at me that she cans kill me if she was getting satisfaction of that, anyway I had no more reason for live. I had lost everything. She backs up and answers me:

-So it have no more value that I attack yourself, you suffer as much as I did!

-No, Please, Victoria I beg you, kill me right now; for my life stop to be hell!

-Live in the hell and if it is not making you happy then suicide you, my pleasure is to see you suffer!

On this I felt down and all family came around me, I only pushed Edwards and his companion, after all it was his fault if I was suffering so much.

It is crying that I woke up. However, I heard a noise in the kitchen, paper to be wrinkled. I stopped breathing for a moment, and then I took my courage and went to check the kitchen. Everything I screw was Alice's note that was crumpled and the back door ajar, someone had come here during my sleep, someone who was not human!

_**So there was the chapter 2, i hope you enjoy it! If you did, please tell me, cause it taking me a lot of time for translate all, cause i cannot use a translator like Google for long sentence, cause it is doing a lot of mistake, just for this short chapter it took me 1 hour to translate, so say me if you love it or no, please!**_


	3. secrets it's painful

**So for that chapter, I decided to do an Edward POV, even if when I created this fiction, I was believing that I was only going to do Bella's one. But I finally saw that I need you to see what our favourite vampire is living. Also I don't think I will do another POV than those 2, except a little place for Alice (that is in few chapters) So on that, ENJOY!**

**Edward POV**

Why do I stay to Forks even if it is despite my decision to quit her? I know that's stronger than me, that I am unable to leave, but I made her a promise. Tonight is not making exception to the routine which I try to tear myself of since last week; I did a tour, I rode like a predator in the forest around Bella's place.

It makes a week she leaves her window open, a little silly; does she want to be sick for me? The nights are cool at this time of year, so why stubborn? In addition it is very tempting for me to climb up there and wrap my marble arms and to console her. I know she cries and I know it's my fault, it destroyed me even more! Every morning I hear tell her dad that she's not hungry then I hear her tearing, screaming or simply breathing very difficult, I know what kind of difficulties she is facing, but I cannot, I must not interfere, I promised that I would do as if I had never existed it was not time to turn around.

Here, she promises to Charlie to return to class tomorrow, this reassures me, it's by changing her ideas that she will forget me, and it will be better for her. So I decide to go join my family in Vancouver (from Forks to Vancouver by car is 5:30 when I checked imagined being a vampire!), It does take only a few hours, it was time that I go tell them some news, at least before leaving for another destination, try to live alone for some time, trying to change my ideas too.

Some hours later, to Vancouver

I am glad they are all going well, they're only mad at me to have forced them to flee especially Alice, Esmée and Emmett, but sooner or later they will understand. What I cannot understand is that Alice does not stop singing various songs in her head at any time it is not being spent thinking about how she wants me to die. It seems to me that it hides something, but knowing her, I know that it is nothing important, but I would like to know. I have strictly forbidden them to approach Forks until new order, which means when Bella will leave. I do not want to hurt her even more.

The night just felt and I'm about to go hunting, it's done a bit too long that I neglected myself, then I heard Carlisle asking me to wait for him, so I do. A few seconds later we leave, we head towards the mountains full of bears and coyotes.

«Edward how is she? », Carlisle asked without telling me anything.

-Bad, she is sad, as any teenagers who is losing her first love.

«It's all? Are you sure? »

-No, how can I be? I can't read her minds as I can for the others, but Charlie would love to see me dead...

«I am sorry for you, son, I know it is difficult for you. But why did you quit her? Why didn't you only offer her the live that she wishes to get? »

At these words, I began to run even faster, apoplectic that my own father has dared to think about that! I cannot believe he betrayed me ... as Alice, so I decided that tomorrow night I will go away from them until they forget about her too! I still let me a day to try to know what was going on with Alice, and then I left.

After drank the blood of two coyotes and a bear, I made a U-turn and returned to our little house. I started looking for Alice. She ignored all my questions. She continued to sing at the top of their lungs as if I could not hear what she was thinking or more singing in that case... what a pest; if I could I would have a migraine!

It was ten o'clock this morning when I decided it was pointless to harp, she will not. I therefore took the initiative to collect them all for my farewell.

-I quit you for sometimes, I need to be alone with me, I need to change my ideas and you also need to forget her! So don't do anything that can compromise my promise.

-Come back, murmured Esmée.

-Take care of you, said Carlisle slowly.

-Especially for get her; she was just putting us in danger!

-Rose! Don't say that! He loved her! Recover consciousness, told me Emmett by the time he took my shoulders, « for you and for her, do what you think is the best! »

-Thank Em.

«One more time I am soooo sorry! » Jasper's toughs will constantly confused in excuse since he nearly killed Bella, but I could not forgive him, it was his fault that I was separated from my sweet half!

Alice looked at me and then she stopped singing. "Sorry, but it's for your sake that I sing, you do not want to know." I looked septic; she lost a moment's concentration, not long enough so that I could know what it was about, but I find a word, just one, but took full extent of me, knowing that I'm away. "Bella"

-Stop to think about her, I will not change my minds. We are dangerous for her. Anyway she's safe with Charlie!

-If you think so, it must be true, she said severely.

But what did she know? Anything that she did not want me to know and it was very frustrating. So I decided to leave, I had to go to the mansion to Forks; I had forgotten something very important to me. I take more time than to watch the way, I was not pressed to find anyone, even if I would have liked to see her one last time, tell her that I loved her always, but I do could not.

Then I saw a poster that caught my attention, there was the picture of Bella and then a reference to a missing person. If my heart have the possibility too, he would have jumped a beat and missed the next. I turn on the radio, hoping that I was wrong, this should be my mind wanted me to pay for all the pain I was causing in this moment, and then I heard the heartrending cry of a mother and a father who lost their child. Renée was in tears when Charlie was trying to keep calm despite his apparent pain. They threw a message to Bella and her captors, hoping that this is really kidnappers and not Bella who decided to leave. From what I understood, they found the truck in flames on the outskirts of the city, but nobody was inside. The flames were too advanced to be able to find any hint about what might have happened to Bella. I decided to close the radio; it was too painful to hear.

When I arrived at the mansion, I detected the smell of Bella, it appeared to be recent. But how could it be? She was missing; do not tell me she would have dared? I listened, but I heard nothing. I went around the house to try to see something unusual. I saw her; she was lying on the couch, she looked cold, but the worst is that she seems to be doing a nightmare ... at this vision; I could only forget that I was angry against her, she was again caught in a nightmare and once again I had to be the cause.

I decided to enter through the back door that opened onto the kitchen. That's when her sweet voice came to me, but not in circumstances that I would loved, she was talking in her sleep.

-Step back! I am the one she wants!

-...

-You can kill me, I don't care! Anyway, I have no more reason to live. I just have enough to be sad!

-...

-No, please, Victoria I beg you, kill me now for my life stop to be hell!

I was horrified by what I had heard, I could not believe she dreamed in Victoria and in addition she was asked to die rather than let someone defend it. Anyway who can defend her? The answer hit me; it was my family that she called back, she did not want us to stand because I was making her suffer. I should perhaps wake her and tell her to forget everything, that I would always be there for her ... NO! I had to resist! She had to live her life, but what the hell was she doing here? It was at that moment that I saw a piece of paper which had hitherto escaped. I took it and read it.

_«Bella,_

_I saw you come here before I go, so I prepared yourself a special bag in my room, use this house like it was yours. You can take all money you need in my room. And I also bought you clothes. I let you keys of one of our cars and the house one, just be sure to always lock before to leave. Good luck in your new life_

_Alice, you already miss me a lot xxx»_

No! How Alice did do this to me? It was probably what she had hidden to me, but why did she? I crumpled the sheet, I was about to get what I wanted silently, but I noticed that Bella had stopped breathing as her heart beats faster, could it be that she heard me crease the sheet? No surely not. Steps noise, she must need to go to the toilet simply, it was always the first thing she did when she woke up. No, the steps were really coming in my way! I left quickly through the door that I closed, but I did not have time to shut up that she was already in the kitchen, hoping that she did not saw me. I walk away as quickly as possible. I will have to come back to pick up the object of my desires that night when she will be asleep.

**I hope you loved it as much as I enjoyed writing this chapter! Please, just review for encourage me to continue to translate this fic that I really enjoy to write!**


	4. the letter

_**So, for this chapter, 2 POV cause I think it was necessary. I hope you will appreciate it.**_

**Bella POV**

What went here was not human and I knew it, I felt it! First it was too quiet and too fast, I did not even see someone running across the garden and escape. I saw only two possibilities, but each one just scared me!

And if Victoria was really back? If she had followed my trail so far? If my dream was there for warn me rather than show me my fears and my precarious state of mental health? And if...

But the crumpled paper gave a very different turn to my thoughts, because even if Victoria did not like me, she will not stop for a simple letter to Alice, she would have attack at the same moment, in my sleep. I only see a vampire who could respond to this letter: Edward. I felt the gaping wound at the bottom of my chest open suddenly.

If he had come and that he had reacted like that, it's probably because Alice had said nothing of my coming here. He must be angry that I invaded his personal space, maybe I should go? No, Alice had vowed that I would be safe here; I could be at my ease, at home! So I would not let my fears or my irrational hopes take my roof that I used for hiding!

I would have liked to believe that it was him, I need him like I need oxygen! Yet I decided it was time for me to face the only piece that I was really scared in this house, the room, _his bedroom_.

I climbed the stairs slowly firstly because I was terrified to enter without him, and also because I knew I would suffer more than necessary. I slowed my pace even when I arrived in the long corridor leading wherever I went. I stopped at the door reaching out to the handful hesitant to touch it.

I took a deep breath, and then I tried to take courage. I turned the handle and I opened the door. I breathe again and I opened my eyes. I was frozen on the threshold. What I saw disrupt me. This piece usually so ordered was upside down. The discs were everywhere on the floor, some boxes were broken. The sofa was in the middle of the room, a box was on top. This puzzles me because I had never seen a so beautiful box. I'm therefore for be able to better see her. It was the size of a shoebox, but it was heart-shaped, yellow like the sun.

I sat down on the edge of the sofa and I took it in my hands. I noticed that there was on over a recording of his beautiful writing of the 1900s...

_"Remembering my best year, Bella" _

I felt tears in my eyes mounted. I raised the lid, it was painful, but I had to know what it contained. Several unnecessary items that I did not understand too much why they were in this box as a cap of a bottle of lemonade (ref to midnight sun I said no more for those who do not want to spoil, if you want to know leave me your e-mail) as well as several small objects of everyday life. I found a wick of my hair and then a picture that we took this summer while traveling with his family. I looked for longer than necessary, but it was so beautiful. Then I took a long sheet of paper powder blue in the bottom of the box. Will I read it or not? I knew it was risky, but I needed to breathe in his memories, I need to know so I unfold.

"Bella,

I do not know how to say this, but I love you. It is an irrational love because every minute I spend with you I threaten your existence. But you wake in me some emotions, sensations so enjoyable. I will never cease to love you, a love of vampire is a love that never fades, and it's like an eternal rose. I need you like you need to breathe and eat! You are my reason to live, please do not forget me. I love you!

I could not give you this letter because it will hurt you to know this, but I regret already so much for having left you! I would like to have you with me every moment, unfortunately I know this should imply that I should make you immortal, and as you already know I cannot solve myself. I like you too much for this!

If I could cry, I would do because you miss me more than anything else, unfortunately you do not know, because you think I hate you after tonight. I feel so sad to have to hurt you to make you understand that we have to leave, know that I ever will be mad to Jasper for almost killed you... if only you could know, if only you could understand...

Forever xxx

Edward"

I reread the letter several times before really understanding what I could never believe. I was probably hallucinating these words! There was no other reason that he lied to me! My life was an illusion anyway. My heart tightened once again when my eyes stopped on his beautiful calligraphy on three words that I wanted to never forget when I was with him "I love you." I fell asleep filled with dreams and for the first time since that tragic night, my mind had a dream filled with hope and joy.

**Edward POV**

The night had fallen for many hours now; she should probably sleep very hard now. So I approach my house slowly. I could not have visual contact with Bella when I entered. I listen, what I heard was his breathing calm and regular. So I went to my room. Arrived at the top of the stairs, I noticed that my door was open, yet I was sure to have closed when I moved sometimes ago! I approached softly, and then I froze when I saw Bella lying on the sofa in the middle of the room with what appeared to be the letter that I wrote a week and a half before! Oh! No! She should not have read this! She would be even sadder after! I am really must be bad and damned for having left there at its thank you! I had to kill me; it would have been less complicated than this abandonment that affected us both! I advanced really slowly into the room, she slept much closed. I took the only subject that really matters to me a picture of her and me taking on holiday last year, I needed to remember that I had made her happy. Then I returned I had to quickly leave this place before she noticed that I have come.

Yet I felt a deep pain from me. I will leave her again without even telling her that I loved her! Well she had discovered it because of this damn letter that I should have destroyed, but now she would be in doubt and it would be even more miserable! I felt a call to her; I had to memorize her lines one last time before exiting. It was only midnight, she will not wake up for several hours, so I sat down between two boxes of records and I was contemplating sleeping. She seemed calm today, as if the letter had reassured her and gave nice dream. No, she was not dreaming, it would be a nightmare for her to dream. I spent several hours to contemplate as well. She was so beautiful. I could not tear me to this vision. Unfortunately I had to do it now because the sun behind the clouds would soon get up and she did not know that I had come.

Against my heart, I therefore lifted gently and went at my door when I turned back one last time, she moved. She had just returned to the couch, but she was so beautiful in her sleep. I tore me once more time to this angelic vision when I froze again hearing her wonderful voice.

-Edward?

_**I hope that you love it, even if it was short… but I usually post 1200 to 1500 word. Never least than that. So please let a little review, for make me really happy and cheer me up for continue to translate this story of mine!**_


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